


Dad (Do I love You?)

by MichelleM



Category: Original Work
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Past Abuse, Poetry, true story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27451756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MichelleM/pseuds/MichelleM
Summary: Am I still supposed to love you (when you tell me that this is love?)





	Dad (Do I love You?)

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING FOR ABUSE 
> 
> Unfortunately, this is a true story

Dad I love you

(Even though you’ve verbally and emotionally abused me for 24 years)

Dad I love you

(even though you came in my room and screamed at me while I had only a towel on, accusing me of telling you’re girlfriend that you cheated on her, when I never said a word to her.)

Dad I love you

(Even though you screamed and yelled in my face at 14, Red-faced and terrifying. (I ran across a major road and locked myself in a bathroom, after calling my mom in tears, terrified that this might be the time the abuse turned physical) (Everyone runs away, it was normal, I was just overreacting right)

Dad I lo-

(You made fun of me for having emotions, I was six when it started (it hadn’t stopped since)

Dad I -

(you ranted and railed, screamed in my face again, but I’m 14 now, don’t all parents do that? Don’t all parents scream and accuse their daughter for hours, just for letting their sister know about the affair (that’s why you and mom really got divorced , she tried to shield me from the truth.)

Dad-

(I’m supposed to love you, don’t you love you abuser (wait no I mean father. They’re synonyms now. You jerked my wrist; nearly dislocated it. It’s normal for parents to get mad and do that, right?

Da-

(Am I still supposed to call you my father? My grandfather offered to be my dad (he watched you scream at me while I sat in my grandfather’s truck, terrified of what you might do because I ran away, called my mom. )

I call my grandfather dad now.

Dad I love you

(I call my bio dad by his name now.)

I just found out abuse is not normal.

I’m still processing when you start screaming and yelling, hands raised and face flushed as you come nearer, you’re in my face now.

Dad, I love you.

But to my bio dad;

Turns out, abusing someone, well it destroys all the good things, all the love I ever had for you

(I’m still terrified)

Do I still say I love you?

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think, if you feel so inclined.


End file.
